Mudman Shoes, Fairy Wings
by crazed-laff
Summary: Foaly is given the task of making an elixir to turn fairy's into humans.Only he hasn't gotten it right yet. Holly ends up drinking it...
1. Damn Centuar

This idea came to me when i saw that in other fanfics Holly drinks this potion and she turns into a human. Well, what if she didn't want to be turned into a human, but it worked with some malfuctions?

Disclaimer: Duh, I don't own Artemis Fowl...If I did...Muhahahaha

Mudman Shoes, Fairy Wings

Chapter One

Damn Centaur

Foaly clopped grumpily down to the Commander's office and snorted at the plaque on the door that read '_Commander's Office'_. As if all the fairies in the building didn't know where Root's office was, even if they were mortally scared of him, save for his best officers. He knocked on the door.

"Foaly! " Root's voice barked from inside. "It had better be you and that finished Elixir! "

The Elixir was a project assigned to Foaly by the Council. It was supposed to make chasing rogue faries above ground easier for the LEP by blending the officers. In other words, morph them into humans.

Foaly stepped inside. "Yeah, good morning to you too." He noticed the fungus cigar Root was holding. " You know, you should really stop smoking, especially this early in the morning."

"Well?" Demanded the Commander, ignoring the centaur. He didn't see Foaly holding any sort of bottle and didn't like it. "Is it ready?"

Foaly observed his hooves carefully. "Eh, there was a flaw in the Elixir."

Root's face started to turn red and Foaly winced. He hastily continued before his face was covered in spit.

"You see, I haven't figured out that last ingredient yet. If an elf or pixie were to drink it, he or she would turn into a half mudman."

"Half mudman?"

"It's the ears, sir. The ears and the nose that don't turn into those of a human."

Root chewed on the end of his fungus cigar for two whole minutes before answering.

"How much?" He snapped.

"Depends." Answered Foaly.

Root exploded. "FOALY! THAT WAS DUE IN TODAY! WHAT DEPENDS IS WHETHER OR NOT YOU WANT TO BE FIRED!"

Grub Kelp, who happened to be walking past the door at that moment, winced and covered his ears. There would be another complaint from him, no doubt. Something about damage to his ears.

"But Commander!" The centaur protested. " My vacation starts tommorow! This really isn't my fault."

Root looked really peeved now. His face was rapidly picking up a red hue. "D' AVRIT! How the hell is it not your fault? This was supposed to be planned from the start! I'm not covering up for you in front of the Council. They're expecting it today Foaly. Today!"

Foaly flicked his tail angrily. "Sometimes plans don't translate smoothly from paper to real life! I'm sure the Council will understand!"

"They had better, for your sake."

"Besides ," Foaly added. "It's not as if I'm going on the other side of the world for my vacation. I'll be in Atlantis if you need anything. I'm taking the elixir with me so I can work on it, I'll leave a spare bottle just in case you'll need it for some reason."

"Why don't you just work on it from here?" Root asked. "Same thing isn't it?"

Foaly smirked. "Because with you around, it isn't a vacation."

"Oh hardy har har." Root said sarcastically." You're hilarious. Let's see you crack jokes while you're outta work."

"Let's see you laugh while the mudmen boss you around." retorted Foaly.

"I have my limit you know." An old threat.

"Sure. Oh, by the way, Coporal Lili Frond has some papers for you to sign. She says they're urgent."

Root noticed Foaly didn't have any papers with him. "Well? Where are they?"

"Lili has them."

"Isn't she supposed to come to me if she wants me to sign them?" Snapped Root.

Foaly clopped toward the door and opened it.

"I told her you'd prefer the excersise." Foaly grinned. "Happy walking."

He shut the door behind him, leaving Commander Root to mutter "Damn centaur."

Hate it? Love it? Don't know? Suggestions? Anything?


	2. No Problem can be a Problem

Thanks a bunch for the reviews guys! I really didn't expect to get any. This chapter is dedicated to you guys! XD

Disclaimer: No, I don't own any of the Artemis Fowl characters . Happy?

**Chapter Two**

**No** **Problem can be a Problem**

7:15 AM

BEEP BEEP BEEP

The annoying shrill of the alarm clock caused Holly to open one eye groggliy and groan. She extended one arm and turned off her alarm clock. Her arms and legs were still stiff from last night. She had been sent along with Trouble to chase three runaway-sprites on air. They has been smuggling DvD players to later sell them belowground for a cheap price. It had been fatal enough without having to engage in an air combat above human dwellings, trying to hold the sprites off until LEPretrieval One arrived. Unfortunately, one of the sprites had managed to hit Holly's right wing with his Redboy blaster, sending Holly to spiral down from an altitude of 50 feet and land on a roof. Luckily, her magic had held her off until the Warlock Medics had shown up a few minutes later.

Still, Holly thought that she deserved to be given at least a day off after what happened. But no, the commander had yelled at her about his days in the force and that she would have to tough it out like a man. That had gotten Holly to fume and retort something back, which had definitely erased any chances that she had had to convince Root about a day off. Well, if she couldn't have the day off, she would just sleep for five more minutes...

"Just five more minutes. " Holly murmured. "I swear."

She snuggled her head deeper into her pillow and dozed off.

8:15 AM

The room was filled with Holly's even breathing. Outside the sun strips that acted as the sun for the Lower Elements gleamed. The honks of cars and the bustle of the morning could be heard below. Suddenly...

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Holly distangled herself from her bedsheets and stretched.

"Funny," She muttered "I thought I already turned the alarm clock off." She froze and her eyes widened as she realized what she had just said. "D' Avrit, D' Avirt , D' Avirt!"

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Her phone. Where had she left it? Holly ran in two full circles before she remembered. The kitchen. The elf sprinted toward the kitchen and snatched her phone from the counter. She held it against her chest and breathed in deeply, praying it wasn't the commander. Holly pressed the answer button.

"Hello?" She tried to keep her voice even.

"Holly!" Foaly's voice was on the other end. He seemed a bit dissapointed. " Don't tell me you forgot!"

Holly let out a breath she had been keeping in. It was only Foaly. "Forgot?"

"I'm leaving for my vacation today." There was a tone in Foaly's voice that sounded a bit like he was accusing Holly of something horrible. " In fact, the shuttle for Atlantis leaves in half an hour."

"Oh! I didn't forget, I'm just - uh - running a bit late." Holly grabbed her towel.

"Hmm..."

From the background on Foaly's end, a voice spoke up. "Foaly? Is that Short? Give me the phone."

Oh no, Holly gluped, Root!

"Uh, Foaly? Listen, I'll see you in a bit. Bye!" She ended the call and stumbled into the shower.

Twenty five minutes later, Holly was found hurrying up the steps to the police station. She practically flew past the station lobby, carefully keeping a eye out for Root. Holly reached her cubicle and collasped on her swivel chair, relieved. Last time, Holly had only been a minute late and she had been given a "talk" with the commander. It hadn't been pretty then and it surely wouldn't be any better now.

A shadow fell over Holly's desk and she grimaced. She didn't need to turn around to know who it was.

"SHORT!" roared Root, bits of spit escaping his mouth. Holly winced as she felt the spit land on her neck and ears. "OFFICE. NOW!"

Holly followed the commander into his office and shut the door behind her. She sat on the chair infront of his desk and wondered how many other fairies before her had sat on the same chair facing Root.

"So," Root began. "You thought you'd be smart and show up late today to try and prove something."

"No sir. I was tired from last night -"

"After I told you to come in to work today. On time."

"But sir-!"

"No buts!" Root sighed. "Look Holly, you're one of my best officers and you're also the first female to get this far. You have to show them that you're better than they think you are or else they might reconsider the other female candidates that they have waiting for Recon."

Holly was suprised. Because of her, other female officers might soon join the ranks of Recon? Root had never said something this sincere. She did feel proud of herself though.

"I'll let you off the hook. For the third time." Root said. "You'd better hurry up if you want to say bye to Foaly."

Foaly! She had forgotten, being more worried about Root. Holly just hoped that he wouldn't take it as a insult. The elf dashed over to Ops and entered through the double doors winded.

Foaly looked up from a small bottle he had been wraping. "Holly, I thought you'd never come." He noticed Holly leaning on his swivel chair with her hand over her chest. "You look like you're suffering from a heart attack." Foaly paused. "Was it Julius?"

Holly offered Foaly half a smile. "Kinda. Just wanted to make sure I was here to say bye."

Foaly grinned. "Thanks Holly. You're a great friend. That's why I'm giving you the access card to Ops." He held up a sliver card the size and width of a credit card.

"Me? But what am I going to do with that?"

"I trust you enough to take care of my office and make sure no one else comes snooping around in here." The centaur showed Holly the small bottle he was holding."See this? It's that Elixir the council assigned to me. I'm not quite done with it, but I'm taking it with me so I can work on it while I'm gone. I've left a spare bottle in here." He opened a drawer in his desk and took out another small bottle that was wrapped in a thick towel." It's under lock and only you can open it with the access card."

"Oh, Foaly." Holly said shaking her head. "I feel honored, I really do. But I'm going to be out on missions and I won't be able to come in here everyday."

"Once a week will suffice." Foaly checked his moonometer and yelped in panick. "Oh no, I have to go. It's a good thing I left my bags in the lobby." He handed Holly the access card.

"But-" Holly began to protest but then stopped. It _was _only an office. How hard could it be if all she had to do was check in on it once a week? She made up her mind.

"Take care Foaly." Holly gave him a quick hug."And make sure you come back with that Elixir finished."

"Don't worry, I will." Foaly said, heading for the door. "Thanks again Holly, see you in a week."

"It's no problem. "Holly said brightly, following Foaly out the double doors. She waited until Foaly had gotten into the car that was taking him to the shuttle to go back inside.

Holly had no idea that she was going to regret saying those last words to Foaly.


End file.
